Heart Broken

 "I can't talk to you anymore. I do not want him to misunderstand"The subtle way of putting it that you are not worth the risks of interaction, for I already have someone that worth way more than you in my life.
"We are friends" doesn't really ring anymore isn't it?

Distance
I will keep my distance. That's the promise I did, for being foolishly in love from the beginning.
I did the worst mistake of portraying myself of being vulnerable and desperate.
I foolishly think that if you shows that you really love someone, that person will really be kind back, to the least.
It's all gone. I understand that. Was there even any intention of starting it in first place? I am not sure anymore.
I want to move on.


Kindness
Mercy... can I have some of that at least? I am human.
Throughout the whole process, my intention was purely to see you happy.
Didn't expect my pride is the sacrifice through it.
I am glad that you are happy.
I just need a favor, some mercy towards all this.
It's killing me inside out, that he is more important for you
It's killing me inside out, you can openly shows the affection while I become the ultimate witness in dark.
It's killing me inside out, that I need to lay every moment, memory to grave with my bare hands

Memory
For me, everything was hurtfully vivid, true and clear.
It was true. Every bit of it. Our first selfie, my first time confessing, flying across Straits just for fear that I might lose you, strolling pass Orchard, waiting for bus in Far East Plaza, dating in our common location, able to tell my friends I had someone made me lunch, able to walk you home every now and then, able to listen to you every night before sleep, struggling through the process of calming you of your insecurities...


Regret
If asked would I repeat it again if allowed? I would still do it.
It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over.
I tell myself this time and again, and it never fails to hurt even more every time.
I had failed, defeated. I know what to change and improve. I regret that "we" are sacrificed in the process of me finding myself. 

Time and space, please show me some mercy. 
While I stand up and fight again.