insomnia

can't sleep...
can feel my heart is not with me anymore...
what was a crush seems to become love
always waiting in front of computer, hoping to just see her online
always waiting by my phone, hoping to get a msg from her, any at all...
my heart is with her now
but her heart is not mine...

can just feel that her heart will go to him, not me
can't get back my heart, yet i do not want to break a friend's heart, or end a friendship
can't contain it anymore... it is painful
can feel that i am losing her to him right in front of my eyes...
he never say, but i know
hope it is my misunderstanding, but i can just feel it
their every movement shows it
i hope i misunderstood, i really hope so...
i do not hate them, i hate myself for knowing her so late, and at so wrong of a time
he is my best friend here... she is the one i miss every second every hour everyday